Review: His Country Bride + A Playlist!

Debra Holt - His Country Bride
Published: June 11, 2015 by Tulip Romance
Genres: Adult, Romance
Pages: 189
Find on: Amazon, Book Depository, Goodreads
Rating: 2/5

"Sheriff's Department! Raise your hands above your head and don't move."

She’s a runaway bride who left her two-timing fiance at the altar. He’s a county sheriff determined to keep the peace in his country and leave city girls alone after his own fiance left him for the bright lights of the city. Neither of them planned on running straight into each other...over a burning wedding dress.

Ellie and Lucas planned on never trusting their hearts to love again. When danger follows her from the city, the sheriff must do his duty to protect her. However, it isn’t long before he discovers the real danger may be to his heart. Ellie just might teach him that even a city girl can be a country girl at heart.

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Adult reads are becoming so predictable, it's a shame.

After finding her husband-to-be canoodling with a bridesmaid, Ellie Perryman becomes the essential Runaway Bride, runs home to the family farm, tears off her wedding dress, sets it on fire, gets drunk off wedding champagne, and dances around the fire like it's some sort of witchy ritual in her underwear.

Her non-husband files a missing person's report, a completely non-ironic sexy policeman arrives to defuse the situation, and he tears his shirt off and gives it to her. Which was concerning, considering how these novels go.

The police officer, who turns out to be the County Sherriff, is Lucas. Thankfully, all he does is give her his shirt. He takes her to the police station as a precaution, where she re-encounters her almost-husband, who is apparently Evil Knievel. He never loved Ellie and only wanted her family's farm for the $$$$. Like, if you get with someone don't you notice they only want your moolah?

Ellie worries about her almost-husband returning for her, so Lucas lends her his dog and has his officers watching her estate 24/7. Literally, not one or two, the whole platoon would sit for hours and monitor her house to insure her safety, which is kind but unrealistic. They live in a small town, I assume. Like: thirty people. Lucas being Sheriff is an obvious abuse of power. Small town or not, crimes still happen. Don't you have to wrangle a cat out of a tree or arrest a pothead? Nope. This dude was always after Ellie.

I didn't like Lucas. He was too wooden. Boring. Everything offended him. He was nice, yeah. Thanks for lending me your dog, but that's too much work, honestly. Also, this is a short read. It makes cryptic mentions Lucas was left brokenhearted by a cruel woman by the name of Kim, but it never explains why and/or what she did. (?)

Ellie had no life, but she was an opportunist. Apparently, she was a teacher, who baked award-winning pies. Very homey. She was always visiting Lucas at the police station or asking his friends about him. The second after kissing Lucas, she was already trying to get with his cohort, David. She tried to play it off innocently, though. Right. Her man cheated on her, but she wasn't too traumatized by that.

There is so much food scenery and it is amazing.

I partially predicted the ending. Afterward, there's an epilogue no one needed. In the chapter beforehand, I literally thought: "He's going to show up on her doorstep with flowers." and he appears with two-dozen roses.

Well, I wouldn't recommend it. I love the food scenery and I thought David was cute. But if you like overly-cliché reads, here you go.
 
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For the heck of it, I decided to pen a bookish-themed playlist. BECAUSE WHY NOT?
Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
Ariana Grande - Dangerous Woman
Gwen Stefani - Make Me Like You
TWENTY88 - On The Way
Jhene Aiko (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - Stay Ready (What A Life)
Nosaj Thing - Aquarium
Lana Del Rey - Honeymoon

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